'Do I just need to grow up?': Boyfriend threatens to break up with 20-year-old girlfriend if she doesn't change her birthday party theme, she stands her ground

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 4, 2025 11:00 AM EST

I'll say it, I don't go to enough theme parties. I love theme parties, but they seemed to have cooled off after college. Sure, we have Halloween, and maybe your aunt Linda buys everyone elf hats for Christmas, but true theme parties seem to have gone by the wayside. I remember being a kid and feeling like I got to know my classmates a little better when I went to their birthday party and it was, say, Blues Clues themed. I didn't know you rolled that way, Michael. I could use that now with my adult friends. 

Apparently, though, even if you do venture for a theme party as an adult, it might not go over so well with everyone. Maybe some of your guests will think it's childish, or maybe there will be dissent about the theme itself. What constitutes an appropriate adult theme and what doesn't? And who makes these rules anyway?

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10463233024
    via yasmeen hill

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what came up in this story when a 20-year-old chose a birthday party theme that her boyfriend didn't approve of. But instead of keeping it to himself and realizing, ahem, it wasn't his birthday, he made a relationship-ending fuss over it. Read on for the story and decide if he was justified. 

  • 02

    AITAH for refusing to change the theme after my bf threatened to leave me if I didn't choose a different birthday-party theme?

    I'll try my best to keep this short, I've [19F] been with my boyfriend [20M] for 5 months. My birthday is coming up in 4 days. (as I'm writing this. It all happened on January 31st) we were talking about what I wanted, He was asking me what gift I would want. Where'd I want to celebrate. Just that kind of stuff. I was the one who brought up the theme.
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
  • 03
    I told him I wanted a Rainbow Dash type theme. (My Little Pony if you did not know), I've been obsessed with her since I was a kid and first saw her. She's my comfort character and I've celebrated every single one of my birthday's with that theme. I used to dress up as her every year for
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
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    it but stopped when I turned 15 because I felt like I was getting too old for that but not too old for the theme since it was just a theme. My entire room is blue and I have a bunch of Rainbow Dash plushies on my bed, Even my gaming set up kind of looks like it'd be hers.
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
  • 05
    He told me no and that it's childish to still like a cartoon character when I'm about to be 20. I personally don't think it's childish. I told him that I've had all of my other birthday's like that so I don't see why I should stop just because I'm in a relationship.
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
  • 06
    He then threatened to leave me if I didn't choose a different theme so I just told him to leave because I got really upset that he'd say that instead of communicating with me on WHY he doesn't want me to have that theme when all he could say was "It's just childish" when I tried to push him for more. and I haven't talked to him since.
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
  • 07
    Am I just being dramatic? I really don't think it's childish since it's just a birthday theme but I also don't want to lose him. Do I just need to grow up?
    via u/Annual-Way-2121
  • 08

    Commenters gave their two cents on her birthday party theme choice, and if her bf's reaction was justified.

    ChocoMcBunny • 7h ago . Is it childish? Yes, probably. But so what? It's something you love and that's all that matters.
    via u/ChocoMcBunny
  • 09
    Him threatening you like that, trying to control what you like - that is not acceptable. Let him go. Don't waste another minute on this guy.
    via u/ChocoMcBunny
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    SharkDoctor5646 6h ago . I'm 39, turning forty and I have a shark themed birthday party every year. Your boyfriend is a Life Ruiner. He ruins lives. Let him go ruin someone else's day. NTA.
    via u/SharkDoctor5646
  • 11
    Glittering HeartGloa • 5h ago Girl, NTA. He really tried to threaten to leave you over a birthday theme?? That's unhinged. You're not asking him to dress up as a pony, you're just celebrating in a way that makes you happy. The fact that he'd rather control you than respect something harmless that brings you joy is a massive. red flag. You didn't lose anything worth keeping.
    via u/GlitteringHeartGloa
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    Cheezburger Image 10463233280
    via Matthew Ball
  • 13
    ChurrosPotatoes • 7h ago NTA. He's childish. Continue your tradition Also, him threatening to end the relationship over something so trivial
    via u/ChurrosPotatoes
  • 14
    unpeople • 5h ago He then threatened to leave me if I didn't choose a different theme so I just told him to leave.... You have chosen... wisely.
    via u/unpeople
  • 15
    Wise-Application-... • 6h ago Let him go. Your party theme has no impact on him, but he's still trying to control it. Not a good sign. Ponies over putzes
    via u/Wise-Application-435
  • 16
    Formal_Fail6284 • 6h ago An ultimatum 5 months in is a HUGE red flag. Especially over something so much about your happiness.
    via u/Formal_Fail6284
  • 17
    DerpDevilDD . 7h ago Sounds like he's in that mindset where someone is terrified that people will think they're immature or not as "adult" as they should be (because they aren't), so they try way too hard and shun all connections to anything that could be construed as for kids. His irrational insecurity is not your issue.
    via u/DerpDevilDD
  • 18
    Also, billions of adults still like various cartoon or whatever characters from their childhood or that are meant for kids. You're fine.
    via u/DerpDevilDD
  • 19
    Sparks-Galore • 3h ago NTA. You're not being dramatic.. you're being yourself. If he's ready to jump ship over a Rainbow Dash birthday, imagine his reaction when life throws something actually challenging at him. Liking a cartoon character doesn't
    via u/Sparks-Galore
  • 20
    make you immature; threatening to leave a relationship over a birthday theme does. Honestly, Rainbow Dash would fly circles around this guy and leave him in the dust
    via u/Sparks-Galore
  • 21
    AllySae 7h ago NTA. Your boyfriend's behavior was manipulative and disrespectful. You have the right to celebrate your birthday in a way that makes you happy. His ultimatum and dismissive attitude towards your interests are not acceptable in a healthy relationship.
    via u/AllySae
  • 22
    icedcoffeealien • 6h ago Its childish AF actually lol but who cares? It brings you joy and doesn't hurt anyone. My sister has amnesia and doesn't remember our childhood, so we are going to take her 30 year old self to Chuck E Cheese for her bday. Because who cares?? Don't let the door hit him where the good Lord split him.
    via u/icedcoffeealien
  • 23
    dfjdejulio 6h ago This is pretty funny to me I'm a 56 year old man, and I still watch children's cartoons today. There's no reason to worry about anything seeming childish. Don't let his insecurity ruin your fun.
    via u/dfjdejulio
  • 24
    phred0095 6h ago I think you and he have both for your own reasons decided that this relationship is not right. So both of you have made common cause to pin the blame on this birthday party theme. If that's what you need to end it, fine. Great.
    via u/phred0095
  • 25
    But for the future please remember that there's nothing wrong with you deciding that this isn't what you want or that he isn't what you want. Saying "we're not a good fit" is a perfectly good reason to break up
    via u/phred0095

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boyfriend long term relationship relationship advice aita relationship my little pony relationship status relationship-drama reddit story relationships theme party Party story reddit thread Reddit healthy relationship
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